10:16 AM - Wednesday, Oct. 18, 2006
My Love
I'm sitting here watching 'Lethal Weapon 2' and staring at him. He looks so peaceful laying there. One leg cocked, the other straight; hands behind his head; chest methodically rising and falling softly.
It brings tears to my eyes just sitting here watching him. Knowing that I'm the lucky one who gets to sleep next to him every night. I'm the one he comes home to. I'm the one he tells he loves every day. Why couldn't I have found him several years ago?
I can't tell people how happy he makes me. He knows when I'm having a mood swing and doesn't really get mad at me for it. He understands when I just need him to say something stupid or crazy to make me smile and pull me out of those moods.
Not to mention that even though we've dated off and on for the past 2 years, he can still make my heart skip a beat when he kisses me. I've never had that in any other relationship before. Ever. I've been married twice before and have never had either one of them make my heart skip like that when they kissed me, besides in the very beginning of the relationship.
He's the only one who when I think I've made him mad at me or I think I've hurt him in some way I want to curl up and die. I can't stand the thought of making him mad. Again, I've never had that happen before in a relationship. I've never cared if I've hurt them in any way. Just thinking he's mad at me is enough to cause me to think of slicing my wrist or taking all my pain and sleeping pills all at once.
I Love him so much. I tell him every day but I don't think I could tell him enough. He means the world to me. I'm usually the one who falls asleep first cause he's up most of the night playing Final Fantasy, but tonight he was so exhausted he fell asleep first. He looks so angelic sleeping. I just want to curl up into his arms and fall asleep too
